The other day, my best friend and I were talking about who has the better social life. Hands down it’s him. He talks about watching TV and going out to eat with his dorm mates, and he lives with his uncle during the weekends. Despite having left Hong Kong, he still has family and friends around. And whenever he goes back home, he goes to the arcade, the music room, the beach, the basketball court and the clubs with his old friends.

My social life, on the other hand, is very boring compared to his. In class here in Denmark, I usually look down at my phone or my tablet computer, and if someone speaks to me, it’s already awkward in the fact that they felt they had to interrupt me poking at my technology. And in my mind, all I can think to do after every sentence mid-dialogue is to look back down again, because talking to my friends or my family or my boyfriend or nobody is simply easier.

And then those potential new relationships walk away, and naturally dwindle to nothingness as the weeks go by. Even where I live, we’re supposed to have a weekly dinner here, but we don’t even have one anymore because I opted out of the last six. These ten months in Denmark have been some of the most solitude times I’ve ever had, aside from the visits my boyfriend and I make to one another.

When I go back to Hong Kong, I don’t hang out with my old classmates anymore because I’m not invited. It makes me wonder why the few friends I do have all have larger groups of people that they hang out with and I don’t have any. I rely heavily on my family to occupy my time - which I do enjoy and appreciate - but certain things make me wonder if it should be that way. I see a lot of photos of people on Facebook having a bitchin’ time at university. And when they go back home, they’re having a great time - and not just out at the clubs, but going to the beach, going to the park, going to the movies, with no less family time than I have. Ever since I went to university, it’s like I lost a part of me - I used to be that sort of person, and I used to have that sort of life. So what happened? Maybe I’m just getting older. Or it’s just a matter of circumstance. Hong Kong is a lot to cheaper for going out and doing things - nice things, and wildly fun things.

My best friend then felt bad after I brought up all of the above. But it’s like - I’m okay. Either way, all of the above is merely the truth of my experience. Ultimately, I’m happy with what I do have, what I do everyday, and what I want, and nothing can take my gratitude, my fancies and my goals away from me. Yeah, it’s like I’m a little bit of a loner, but I’m really quite happy enough as I am. There’s no joke about it, I’m fine.