I’m almost can’t be bothered with any of this. I’m tired. There really is nothing better than staying at home with my boyfriend watching TV shows together and snuggling. I don’t want anything else. I don’t need anything else. My life is there. I belong there. Only three weeks left, can’t wait.
I am about to lose my nerve with a lot of people. I am self-sacrificing to a point, forgiving, tolerant, kind, friendly, and patient most of all. It’s because I got told I can’t take control my temper when I was younger. But fucking hell, I didn’t expect to turn into a fucking passive pushover. I am tired of picking up other people’s slack, having to apologize for things I wouldn’t have to do if other people didn’t make me, having to console someone when I shouldn’t even be consoling, asking for just an ounce of respect when loads of it are rightfully mine. I am not a fucking selfish brat who doesn’t know how to appreciate my day, I fucking grew out of the younger me. But what did I do NOW to deserve a summer full of bullshit I have to deal with? Why won’t people just reflect a little, shut the fuck up, and leave me out of their trials and woes? I am a good - no, scratch that - GREAT person, I did almost EVERYTHING right, even if I was never asked to, just what was goddamn expected of me, even if it was unreasonable. On the occassions I slipped up, I apologized and made it up to people like no other people would because I sacrifice a lot of myself for everyone, in the hopes that actually acting like a better person for a change would make my life more harmonious. But nope. No way.
Seriously just about had it with some people. Going to make some cuts if this goes on.
Blogs and Facebook statuses choc-full of inspirational bullshit will quote the American televangelist Robert. H. Schuller: failure doesn’t mean that you are a failure, it just means you haven’t succeeded yet. In that same light, it must hold true then that one incidence of successful achievement doesn’t mean that one’s made a success of his/her life either. It just fuckin’ means he/she hasn’t failed yet, right?